And just like that it’s back, the black dog, the weight on my back, the suicidal thoughts.
Its horrible, I’ve worked so hard to try and get myself “better” and I know that this was always going to happen, just hoping that I would get a bit more of a break first. Hopefully this is just a blip, a bit of a wobble, nothing too severe. I’ve been working a lot, on top of my normal running the snow school duties I’m teaching 6 hours a day. Not the normal beginner bullshit either. Theres 7 18 year old ski racers that needed a coach and due to their original coach fucking up her ACL on a heli-ski rescue exercise, they’ve some how got me. Turns out I’m not skiing fit and teaching in race boots all day fucking sucks.
Maybe its the lack of sunlight too, being pretty far north its dark most of the time. I go to work in the dark and by the time I get home its dark. Seasonal affective disorder is a real thing and everybody suffers from it to a certain extent. I’m going to double my vitamin D pills, I’ll just piss it out if I don’t need it.
I Hate Skiing 